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Ab Intra

by Happenstance

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1.
Pickup Sticks 04:57
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I cannot look, I cannot look anymore I don't enjoy the same things as before. My life is picking up steam, I don't want to go fast, I don't want to come clean. But you know everything, yeah you know everything. And I know nothing at all I'm just so small The crime where we compare it's not fair, we don't care. Time seems so short now and I've yet to figure out how. Why do we ever concern ourselves with why? We're just as dumb as the next guy. Sitting round with his stupid plans with his stupid hair, and his stupid pants The crime where we compare it's not fair, we don't care I'm the villan
2.
Tiger Bomb 04:20
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These set of rules are set in stone chisel them out and write your own I cannot describe the amount of times that I told you, what you're looking for, it isn't there. so why just stare? Because I will no longer be insecure or weak don't speak And I will work you 'til you're trembling and weak don't speak We cannot win we won't endeavor we don't fit in we fit together I cannot describe the amount of times that I told you to shut the hell up, you didn't care now I just stare. I will no longer be insecure or weak don't speak and I will work you 'til you're trembling and weak don't speak so lets give it up for the ones who've given up they wont give enough to give it up live enough no matter what I thought you'd say I'd give it to you anyway and blind my eyes to decent lies I will no longer be insecure or weak don't speak and I will work Given, mistakes I've made and sold.
3.
Temporary 03:00
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Have you heard about the woman who was pushed out of the ten story building? Luckily for her she had her umbrella, she was nice and dry when she smashed into the ground. Have you heard about the story that was somehow familiar but very boring? Luckily for you, you have a buzz to catch, it's all repetition until your in a mound. And I like to believe, it's all temporary and I like to believe, it's all temporary and I like to, I like to believe and I like to, I like to believe its all temporary its all temporary If I had a dollar for every time I spent on the phone with technical support, I'd have like seven dollars. so I like to believe, it's all temporary cuz I like to believe, it's all temporary and I like to, I like to believe and I like to, I like to believe its all temporary its all temporary
4.
LAIR 05:55
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What has become of this? What has this all become? Refuse to take the risk, the threat is not undone. It seems so personal, to throw this all away. You are impersonal, in every thing you say. Take back what you said, It's your final chance now Will you live with regret? time is running out now If actions speak louder than words, I would scream them in your face. You're just too damn deaf to hear, I'm to slow to set the pace. The pace. What am I yelling for? Who am I screaming at? You are the open door, I am the sewer rat. I'm pushing back tears, fighting my fears tonight I'm more amazed, now at something that hurts at all, its personal, you are now minimalized to nothing. Take what you can steal, It's your final chance now. I'm lost and I'll bet, now that you forgot how to forgive and move ahead from unfit, unkempt disgrace I'll write you a desperate song but I'll bet it's just a waste I stumbled slowly, I didn't know just how far I was to go and now I don't care what I do just so long its not with you and I may care half as much as you do and I may care half as much as you
5.
Orientation 04:43
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I've got some things to say, and I hope the right one hears it. I can't think, I can't dream, without your face appearing in it. I've thought about the meaning, but you don't want to hear it. What is it? I can't say, but whatever it is I never ever want it to go away. it's gone away gone away Because of you again I can see the truth again I can no longer pretend that something so brittle could bend and I know it must be, you've just gotta trust me and maybe you'll crave me, you'll stalk me, you'll lay me. But I won't sneak by you, I just want to try you. Oh you throw me as far as I could go. As far as I could go. as far as I could go. I knew, all the things that I do to you. But that's not the story now It all changed somehow well it cannot be, it will not be, will never be, never be but its nobody's fault at all and my fantasies crumble to the ground fantasies, they were built all around You again I can see the truth again I can no longer pretend that something so brittle could bend and I know it must be, you've just gotta trust me and maybe you'll crave me, you'll stalk me, you'll lay me. But I won't sneak by you, I just want to try you. Oh you throw me as far as I could go. As far as I could go. as far as I could go.
6.
Ataraxia 03:03
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How much does a friendship cost? Because you cost yourself a friend what if you got away with it? can we just pretend? would it eat at your insides, fuck with your mind, gloss your eyes? No You wouldn't care How can you live with yourself? How does it feel without the fog? Living like you're already dead trying to wash all the red off your hands Fifteen years gone, in a flash did it mean anything to you? DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? How much does a friendship cost before the friendship has to end? What if there was nothing left to take, would I ever see you again? Would you just pack up and move on just one blink, and you're gone I wish I didn't want you to How can you live with yourself? How does it feel without the fog? Living like you're already dead trying to wash all the red off your hands Fifteen years gone, in a flash did it mean anything to you? DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
7.
Taught Process 03:32
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The things that you do, it hurts to look at you. But stop as I should, the pain it feels too good. I don't wanna die wondering how it could be so understand this, no one else seems to understand me I wish that I could be someone, to you I hope that someday we'll be one. Do you? Do you? I don't wanna die wondering how it could be so understand this, no one else seems to understand me and you, you will know how far I'll gladly go and you, you will see you mean so much to me and you, you will feel and know that it's all real and I'll feel despair if it turns out its not there. I don't wanna die wondering how it could be so understand this, no one else seems to understand me I don't wanna die wondering how it could be so understand this, no one else seems to understand me
8.
I Don't 04:32
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Jump start it once again, it's so hard to just pretend. Just go and do the math, I'm not a psychopath, I'm right! not quite. Too mad to not attack Too proud to take it back I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't and it's not too late learn to communicate I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't I don't It's all it'll ever be and ever was before. All of my longest years don't seem so long anymore. Too mad to not attack Too proud to take it back I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't and it's not too late learn to negotiate I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't Too mad to not attack Too proud to take it back I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't and it's not too late!! LEARN TO APPRECIATE!!! I know, I know, I know I don't, I don't, I don't
9.
Werewolf it 04:54
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So look away (and settle down) You've got your feet firmly on ground for now (count slowly from 1 to 5) for now (keep quiet, well stay alive) You're sitting still, expecting choices you wouldn't even know what choice is if it bit you in the ass If I could change the way you make decisions, in a second, you'd be mine (If I could change the way you think will you be mine?) So settle for the bolted door I'd part with that and nothing more and love me like you did before I'd part with that and nothing more Just what do you expect me to do? (I'll be whatever you want me to be) So don't you turn your back on me now see what you've done? you've made me so scared that I can't be happy, will I be happy at all? If I could change the way you make decisions, in a second, you'd be mine If I could change the way you think you'd change your mind So settle for the bolted door I'd part with that and nothing more and love me like you did before I'd part with that and nothing more
10.
Destroyer 04:12
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Turn the lights down or off completely I'll be waiting, come and meet me I'll take you places that are higher than this we'll get by all of this and you will not believe its enough I get it I'm incomplete, I've got so much time but none to spare. Your promises sounds so sweet but what you thought was missing isn't there. Start a fire underneath me, the perfect pyre to complete me I took you places that were higher than this we got by all of this and you will soon believe its enough I don't quite think you know what I'm capable of How can I talk to you when all you do is turn away? How can I see the truth? I'm closing my eyes every day. I can't remember when I got myself into this jam. I'm treading water now, It's getting hotter now To be declared the king the day the kingdom turns to scorn. Dead, left in poverty, or never to have been born. It's not like you can choose who you want to be.
11.
Dishevelment 03:44
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I haven't grown I haven't grown I'm just as bad I'm still unknown how long until you can forget me? well, I should've known I should've known I'll burn this bridge I'll cast this stone how long until you will regret me? I'm finished now, frozen in state I want it now, I showed up late I cannot work for anything that will lead to nothing. I did it wrong, I'm not so strong I swear I knew it all along, oh god I knew it all along so what went wrong? oh what went wrong? Being alone is overblown I swear I'd make it on my own negative things should not upset me well I've always known and the fact is known that we're born alive but we die alone I'll make it better if you let me. I'm finished now, frozen in state I want it now, I showed up late I cannot work for anything that will lead to nothing. I did it wrong, I'm not so strong I wrote it in a shitty song, well isn't this a shitty song so what went wrong? its much too long.
12.
Corridor 05:30
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13.
Tyranorexia 06:24
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Try to find the places to go Try to find the places I've been Try to find the right time to show Try to fake it, try to pretend Time to make it disappear quick Time to make it reappear fast Too late to make it there first, Try and time it so you aren't last. Try real hard and don't ever think twice I'm the guy not taking his own advice Try real hard and don't ever think twice I'm the guy not taking his own advice take it out and slaughter it now take it out and fill to the brim take it, keep it under control take it now, your chances are slim doesn't it just all go to show? doesn't it get under your skin? doesn't it make you want to lose? doesn't it take too much to win? It will all be A-OK in the end, how much longer until I see it then? It will all be A-OK in the end, (try real hard and don't ever think twice) how much longer until I see it then? (I'm the guy not taking his own advice) Because I've been waiting for a long long time, and thats all I seem to be doing nowadays, just waiting. Waiting for a time to choose, some helpful cues, cheerful news, and my team to lose Waiting for that big majestic bird to fly across the sky... and shit on my car Waiting for a leprechaun, not a leper clan. I try every day of my life To be a decent human being Sometimes I just don't get it right It's not like I am disagreeing but then I think it over twice and I can't believe what I'm seeing The guy that doesn't make it in life, is just a decent human being.
14.
Inevitable 03:26
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I guess I'll try, I'll walk on eggshells until I die Everything left unsaid, up until the day I'm dead They say a sense of humor is just overcompensation, but what they don't realize is it's mental masturbation. I know that I will eventually die, but when I disappear, this song will still be here feelings, questions, that I'll never solve but will I be absolved? So please don't lie, don't even pretend that you know why. The absence of meaning doesn't mean you have to be absent. and life's worth living for, you don't even have to ask for more just luxury problems, and everyone's got them I know that I will eventually die, but when I disappear, this song will still be here feelings, questions, that I'll never solve but will I be absolved? I know that I will eventually die, but when I disappear, this song will still be here feelings, questions, that I'll never solve but can it be resolved?

about

Ab Intra is latin for "from within" which is fitting because I made it all in my shitty garage band home studio.

credits

released October 24, 2010

Happenstance is Sean Akutagawa, Daniel Akutagawa, Juan Aniceto and Sabrina Vicerra.

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Happenstance Torrance, California

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